"it" just moved
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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