My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
