Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize