just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
