Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
