wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
