People with herpes should wear stickers.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
