how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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