When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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