Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
