the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
