He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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