Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
