tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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