mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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