I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
