his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
