I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
