new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
At least life still wants to fuck me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
