JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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