I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
