now i know why i became what i already was.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize