We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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