Having a random hookup so left but love u
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
