okay pat passed out under dana's car
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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