No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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