Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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