I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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