just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
