New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
