we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
