The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The Olympian is in my bed
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
