the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Randomize
