the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
