when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
