I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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