you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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