have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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