we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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