How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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