He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
