You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
