Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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