you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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