He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
