I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
