your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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