the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
