I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
