Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
