xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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