Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No subtext here. People are naked.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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