Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
