I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
