After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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