I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I didn't notice because vodka
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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