question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
