Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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