I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
