john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
