New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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