Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
