You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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