if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
