I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
nutella sex= disaster
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
