My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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